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Day-Old Bakery Challenge

One time when I was about 19 (you know, not a girl and not yet a woman). I went for a quick trip to Provo with one of my best friends, Danika (this is the trip where she confided in me that she was glad she was pretty). We were on our way back to St. George and figured we’d stop and get some breakfast. We asked somebody if they knew of a bakery nearby and we were in luck! There was a bakery half a block away! We got there and realized it was one of those day-old bakeries that has all that Hostess stuff.

It wasn’t exactly what we had envisioned but we thought we could find something to eat. Right when we stepped in I saw a ray of light descending on a package of Zingers. “Oh my gosh! Zingers! I can’t believe it! I haven’t had Zingers in forever.” I looked around for a smaller package but couldn’t see one. So I tucked the 24 pack of Zingers under my arm and started to look for something to eat for breakfast. Meanwhile Danika found some healthy-ish looking muffins but that didn’t sound good to me so I grabbed some cinnamon rolls. It’s important to note here that nothing in this store comes in a small quantity. So Danika and I walked up to the register with a 24 pack of Zingers, 24 pack of Muffins, and a 24 pack of cinnamon rolls. In the checkout line we picked up a bottle of milk and a bottle of OJ for the road. As the day-old bakery check-out girl was ringing us up she notified us that because of our purchases we were entitled to a free package of doughnuts AND a 24 pack of Hostess Ding Dongs. Well, we weren’t about to say no to FREE FOOD! Our mothers raised us right. So as the early morning sun creeped over the mountains Danika and I set out on our journey with the following supplies:

-1 half package of Nutter Butters (leftover from the drive up)
-1 half package of granola bars (also leftover from the drive up)
-1 24 pack of Zingers (they are like Twinkies but with frosting!)
-1 24 pack of Banana Nut Muffins (processed AND with preservatives!)
-1 24 pack of Cinnamon Rolls
-1 12 pack of Doughnuts (sprinkled in powdered sugar and filled with raspberry filling)
-1 24 pack or Hostess Ding Dongs (FREE!!)
-1 bottle of milk
-1 bottle of OJ

When we realized how much loot we had we started to giggle and pop Zingers in our mouths. By the time we were out of Provo City limits I never wanted to see anything in a plastic wrapper again. Danika said “No, Jordan! Don’t give up now. This is the Day-Old Bakery Challenge. We have to eat all of this stuff before we reach St. George!”

I don’t want to tell you how it ended. I just wanted to tell you that it happened.

  1. Ben

    June 20, 2006

    Twinkies, ding-dongs, and screaming yellow zonkers, you are what you eat!

    (This was the name of a merit badge seminar I went to.)

  2. Salem

    June 21, 2006

    So Ben I eat some pastries called “Really awesome doods” so what does that make me? They only have them in Orange County.

  3. rachel

    June 21, 2006

    Great story Jordan! I was laughing out loud. The list, HA!
    Loved it!

  4. Audrey

    June 22, 2006

    This made me remember our trip down south and I have determined you are an excellent road trip companion. Dancing in hay fields, eating junk, bubbles out the window, sleeping on the side of the road, and car flirting… thanks for the laugh, it’s good to know you are using your sweet writing skills.

  5. Ben

    June 22, 2006

    Salem, are you sure they aren’t called “Really awesome doods in their own minds who aren’t actually that awesome”? Anyway, those are what I eat nowadays.

  6. danika

    June 24, 2006

    the correct quote here is…” I’m so glad I’m not ugly.” BIg difference. Also on that trip we gave one package of zinggers to a guy while driving down the freeway. Livin la vida loca. I had never had a zinger before in my life before this trip and never since. Just when you think a twinkie couldn’t get any worse….

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