Sep 24

Some Big News for Us

A few weeks ago when we went in for the mid-pregnancy ultrasound we were told the heartbreaking news that our baby would be born with a cleft lip and palate. It was devastating to us, mostly because we didn’t know anything about it. As common as complications in pregnancy are, anything other than a healthy pregnancy is shocking and very stressful. The good news is after some tests the doctors believe it to be an isolated issue, meaning hopefully everything else will be healthy. I got in touch with a few people who have been through this and they were very helpful and informative, reassuring us that while the first year will be very challenging with feeding issues, and surgeries–that for the most part by about one year of age their lives had returned to “normal” and they have beautiful happy babies.

It is overwhelming when I think about what this sweet little baby is going to have to go through but we have come to terms with it and are very hopeful that things will turn out ok. We are now doing our best to prepare for the happy arrival of our new baby boy.

photo of Moses by Aubrey Trinnaman

156 Comments

  • moosh in indy. says:

    Best wishes and all my best prayers with sprinkles and the good frosting are being sent your way for strength and all the right people to come into your life over the next few years.

  • genevieve says:

    Jordan, sending you and your family good thoughts and strength during this challenging time!

  • Lisa Golightly says:

    Hi Jordan
    hard news to hear. my son was born with a skull deformity from one of the sutures in his skull that had to be fixed surgically, so i can empathize with the stressfull news. today, he thinks his scar is cool! hang in there!

  • Molly says:

    Also wishing you lots of strength and happiness.

  • owl and peacock : melina says:

    I've just found your gorgeous blog and I must say that I'm overwhelmed by your honesty. You obviously have so many people who support you and love your baby already, which is so heartwarming. I have no doubt that your baby will be a healthy and beautiful boy, and will have my thoughts with you!

  • Alisa says:

    I am so glad you blogged about your news. You will have so much support!
    I wish I had been blogging in 2003 when our son was born with a cleft!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to the baby's birth nevertheless.

  • Chloe says:

    I'm so sorry that you and your family have to go through this trial – trials are painful…but especially so when they involve a baby. He will receive excellent medical care and most importantly all the love and blessings he needs and deserves. He has come to your family for a reason – you and Paul will be magnificent parents to him. Everything will work out. And we will cheer you on in the process :) Thanks for sharing and allowing us to carry your burden with you.

  • J says:

    I'm so sorry!
    It's so good to hear that you've already found and talked to other parents who are on the other side of things. I'm also glad to hear that while this is very difficult and sad for you, you still maintain a positive attitude!
    Your baby is blessed to have you!

  • animalprintpro says:

    Dear Jordan,
    First, all though you are prepared what to expect, just don't. Know in your heart that you are carrying nothing less than the perfect child, as a gift from God. It is very important as a mother to know that your baby has nothing to lack.

    Second, I gave birth to a blind baby 23 years ago, and at the time it was so painful but I can not tell you what a blessing he has been in my life, and what a light carrier he is…I am blessed!

    Third, I have a nice with cleft palette and she was abandoned in a basket at the foster home's steps. My sweet sister in law adopted her and she is a doll! We love her!

    This is not a burden-it is a GIFT!

  • Bryan and Sarah says:

    I'm so sorry that you and your sweet baby will have to deal with this. I'm very glad that by a year, most babies are happy, healthy, and normal. We'll be praying for you and will be around to help if you need us!

  • Susan Petersen says:

    what a brave post jordan, thanks for sharing. truly truly inspiring.

  • mary catherine says:

    echoing everyone else's sentiments–your grace is inspiring, your strength is empowering. so glad to hear that everything else is going okay with your newest little one. i wish you the best of luck and so many blessings on this adventure!

  • A Day That is Dessert says:

    I am sorry your family will have to face this challenge. Lots of love coming your way. xoxo

  • julia says:

    we'll be praying for you that all the surgeries will go well. he's a lucky boy to be born to your family.

  • b. says:

    I was born with a clef lip and palate. That was 42 years ago…I had my repair at Primary Children's in SLC, UT. They have come a long way since then. Also, I have worked on Pediatrics for 22 years…you can do this. They have so much available to you.
    It will be rough for the first year. Also, plan on braces for his teeth, possibly frequent ear infections.

    How lucky this baby is to have YOU.

  • handmade romance says:

    thinking of you and wishing you all the best for the challenges that lie ahead. heres to love getting you through x

  • eyes wide open says:

    have just read your post(discovered for the first time via A cup of Jo) what a lovely blog. very sorry to hear the news of your little boy, all will be fine- the love is all that counts x

  • Anita says:

    Wow, it's all in your perspective. My daughter is carrying a high risk pregnancy and due to meds that she must take for a residual brain tumor, her baby is at an increased risk of having a cleft palate. We celebrated. could be much worse.

  • LobotoME says:

    sending good thoughts and prayers your way ~

  • Sara says:

    I'm so very sorry to hear the difficult news. Your baby is so very luck to have you as parents. I'm sure your family will be in many readers thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to you.

  • suzanjill says:

    Oh, Jordan I'm so sorry that you're going through this but, it really is such great news that this is an isolated issue. W/out getting into details let's just say that I know how stressful this can be but I'm confident that your little boy will be perfectly healthy. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

  • Kathleen says:

    I'm not sure if I've even commented on your blog before (although I've been a reader for over a year), but I wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and the rest of your family during this trying time.

  • Ford says:

    Don't panic at all! 26 years ago my other half was born with a cleft lip & palate. He's had his fair fair of surgery but you can't even tell. Current methods are even better and it's really easy to fix :)

  • Elena (Tickled Pink Knits) says:

    Sending every good thought your way, and wishing you much strength, and joy, too.

  • little mama says:

    Jordan,

    My little newborn was diagnosed with a birth defect when he was 2 weeks old. He's 7 weeks old now, and the last month and a half have been at times more intense and worry-filled than any other time in our lives, but I've also realized that life is always life. Time moves forward, normal day-to-day things keep heppening, and somehow even when things are wrong, they can also be incredibly right and beautiful. Heavenly Father gave us that gift with our understanding of eternital families. May /god bless you and your family during this time of incredible change.

  • Penelope Toop says:

    Jordan & Family,

    praying God's blessings and peace upon you! And for a very happy healthy and very much loved baby:) All is well.

  • Amy@OldSweetSong says:

    You and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Isabel Kallman says:

    sending you and your family lots of love.

  • the_narrows says:

    sending you lots of good thoughts, prayers, and love to your family

  • Sarah says:

    A home full of love is exactly what this little guy will need and it's exactly what he will have. Best of luck, always.

  • Stephanie says:

    Oh Jordan, I feel for you. My first child had 2 surgeries in her first year and it was stressful indeed. I realize that your little guy will probably undergo many more so my heart goes out to you. Once you make it through that first year it sounds like all will be well. Hang in there and thank you for being brave and honest enough to share this personal news with us all. xo

  • amber {daisy chain} says:

    Jordan, this baby will be surrounded by what's most important – love & family. we went through a lot with Ruby when she was first born, and it only makes you realize how special those little bundles really are. be strong & love to you both, amber

  • Katie says:

    I don't usually comment on your blog although I read it religiously and I just wanted to add my good wishes and support – good luck!

  • Pixie says:

    I'll be praying for you, your family and your soon to be little one. That everything goes well and that there are no complications.

  • Who Is Lynda says:

    Your post touched my heart. I can't say that I relate, but I wish you the very best of luck. Little boys are the most wonderful blessing on earth. Good luck to you, your family and your little dude.

  • Anonymous says:

    that is really tragic news and im really sorry to hear this. i have to say though, i think joaquin phoenix is one of the hottest guys around. think positive thoughts!

    Annie

  • MB says:

    http://punkinsinlove.blogspot.com/

    Please take a look at my friend's blog. She too had a son who's palate was cleft. She's an RN (I think) and so, she has lots to see on her blog!!

  • cheryl says:

    You will be a great momma to this new little one! God bless you guys as you tackle the challenges ahead. You guys are such a great sounding family I know you will all do so well.

  • Chris says:

    I'm sorry to hear that, but I do hope things turn out well for you and your new little boy. I'll be praying for you and your family :)

  • oh, hello friend. says:

    Jordan, I am so sorry to hear about your son. but am so thankful that your baby is healthy otherwise.

    though it will be a trying time, i am
    glad you are staying positive.

    i am so excited for you and your new addition to your family!

    we are all here for you.

    xo. danni

  • Molly says:

    Everything will be fine. I recently photographed a cute little family that adopted a little baby boy that had a cleft lip. She recently posted some pics before and after and after of her cute little guy… a year after surgery. You might be interested.. http://punkinsinlove.blogspot.com/

  • Michelle P says:

    Our nephew was born with a cleft palate & had the surgery when he was a tiny baby. Now he is a smiling, chatty, energetic, 4 year old who loves to sing & draw & run around with the other pre-schoolers. So he got a jump start on his first scar (very small above his lip), he is a happy & healthy kid!

  • Rachael says:

    Jordan – you are so inspirational to write such an honest, strong, heartfelt post. With such love and beauty surrounding him, your baby will thrive!

  • Montanna says:

    Good Luck and best wishes. As hard as it may seem now once your little one is born your love will overcome all.

  • DangAndBlast! says:

    My husband's switching from General Surgery into Oral-Maxillofacial Surgery, purely out of the joy he got from one month working in cleft lip / cleft palate repair. Rather than the standard motorcycle accidents and ruptured appendix surgeries he's been doing, he'd prefer to do an exciting operation that has such a good prognosis and makes such a difference. (And the idea of a month a year on Operation Smile appeals to him as well, of course.) All will be well :) (And, I seem to have skimmed past things in my rss feed reader — I just now discovered that you're expecting! Congratulations!)

  • Kristy says:

    Jordan, my friend Halle went through the same thing with her son Jackson. Check out her blog: Travels with Jackson. Also, they have something called the Jackson Smile Project. It was a year of struggle but now, Jackson is the sweetest, happiest baby with the greatest smile I have ever seen.

  • Paisley Petunia says:

    Hello, I was looking through your archives, because I just found and love your blog!
    Congratulations on your baby!
    My best friend got this news when her sister was pregnant, so I can only try to imagine the range of emotions you are going through.
    She wrote a beautiful essay on my blog today about their experience – abby pre and post surgery and also their involvement in Smile Train and the good they do around the world. Thought you might enjoy reading it and seeing the pictures of the adorable abigail.
    http://www.paisleypetunia.com/blog/2009/11/abbys-smile/

  • Maria says:

    My hubby had a cleft lip and palate. His mom had a lot of challenges at first – lot's of surgeries, dental visits… but everything is fine now. You can hardly notice a scar or anything and both of our kids haven't had any problems. I am sure things are even better now with new technologies. Best Wishes!

  • amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay says:

    This baby is so lucky to be born into such a loving family. You will find all the ways to make it work and life will be just fine with all of the love you have…. xoxoxo prayers for you all that things are far less complicated than you may imagine.

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